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simple life

I stumbled upon this list of "60 Ways To Make Life Simple Again" and wanted to share. It reminded me of some of the extraordinarily easy ways that we can all get back to the basics. Forget draining relationships, embrace meaningful ones. Forget stresses that are unchangeable, embrace the issues that can be changed. Forget arrogance, embrace confidence. Embrace love, laughter and life!!!

Life is not complex. We are complex. Life is simple,
and the simple thing is the right thing.
- Oscar Wilde


  1. Don’t try to read other people’s minds. Don’t make other people try to read yours. Communicate.
  2. Be polite, but don’t try to be friends with everyone around you. Instead, spend time nurturing your relationships with the people who matter most to you.
  3. Your health is your life, keep up with it. Get an annual physical check-up.
  4. Live below your means. Don’t buy stuff you don’t need. Always sleep on big purchases. Create a budget and savings plan and stick to both of them.
  5. Get enough sleep every night. An exhausted mind is rarely productive.
  6. Get up 30 minutes earlier so you don’t have to rush around like a mad man. That 30 minutes will help you avoid speeding tickets, tardiness, and other unnecessary headaches.
  7. Get off your high horse, talk it out, shake hands or hug, and move on.
  8. Don’t waste your time on jealously. The only person you’re competing against is yourself.
  9. Surround yourself with people who fill your gaps. Let them do the stuff they’re better at so you can do the stuff you’re better at.
  10. Organize your living space and working space.
  11. Get rid of stuff you don’t use.
  12. Ask someone if you aren’t sure.
  13. Spend a little time now learning a time-saving trick or shortcut that you can use over and over again in the future.
  14. Don’t try to please everyone. Just do what you know is right.
  15. Don’t drink alcohol or consume recreational drugs when you’re mad or sad. Take a jog instead.
  16. Be sure to pay your bills on time.
  17. Fill up your gas tank on the way home, not in the morning when you’re in a hurry.
  18. Use technology to automate tasks.
  19. Handle important two-minute tasks immediately.
  20. Relocate closer to your place of employment.
  21. Don’t steal.
  22. Always be honest with yourself and others.
  23. Say “I love you” to your loved ones as often as possible.
  24. Single-task. Do one thing at a time and give it all you got.
  25. Finish one project before you start another.
  26. Be yourself.
  27. When traveling, pack light. Don’t bring it unless you absolutely must.
  28. Clean up after yourself. Don’t put it off until later.
  29. Learn to cook, and cook.
  30. Make a weekly (healthy) menu, and shop for only the items you need.
  31. Consider buying and cooking food in bulk. If you make a large portion of something on Sunday, you can eat leftovers several times during the week without spending more time cooking.
  32. Stay out of other people’s drama. And don’t needlessly create your own.
  33. Buy things with cash.
  34. Maintain your car, home, and other personal belongings you rely on.
  35. Smile often, even to complete strangers.
  36. If you hate doing it, stop it.
  37. Treat everyone with the same level of respect you would give to your grandfather and the same level of patience you would have with your baby brother.
  38. Apologize when you should.
  39. Write things down.
  40. Be curious. Don’t be scared to learn something new.
  41. Explore new ideas and opportunities often.
  42. Don’t be shy. Network with people. Meet new people.
  43. Don’t worry too much about what other people think about you.
  44. Spend time with nice people who are smart, driven, and likeminded.
  45. Don’t text and drive. Don’t drink and drive.
  46. Drink water when you’re thirsty.
  47. Don’t eat when you’re bored. Eat when you’re hungry.
  48. Exercise every day. Simply take a long, relaxing walk.
  49. Let go of things you can’t change. Concentrate on things you can.
  50. Find hard work you actually enjoy doing.
  51. Realize that the harder you work, the luckier you will become.
  52. Follow your heart. Don’t waste your life fulfilling someone else’s dreams and desires.
  53. Set priorities for yourself and act accordingly.
  54. Take it slow and add up all your small victories.
  55. However good or bad a situation is now, it will change. Accept this simple fact.
  56. Excel at what you do. Otherwise you’ll just frustrate yourself.
  57. Mature, but don’t grow up too fast.
  58. Realize that you’re never quite as right as you think you are.
  59. Build something or do something that makes you proud.
  60. Make mistakes, learn from them, laugh about them, and move along.
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discovery

This is the first moment of quiet, me time I have had in nearly a month and I have to say, I'm loving it. Not that I don't also love being around other people, but over the past couple months I have learned more about myself than I have in years and having this time to myself allows me to process the chaos and conclusions.

There is tremendous strength and power in knowing who you are/aren't and what you do/don't stand for. People generate all sorts of lists to hash out the pros and cons of a major decision or even when mentally critiquing your significant other or friends. Whether or not those lists are ever written down, the list still exists. I have been keeping my own list to take note of things that I have found are truths about me.



I value meaningful relationships.
I can not lie and cringe at the thought of breaking rules that may result in getting in trouble.
I crave contemplative alone time.
I struggle with feigning interest in something that doesn't interest me, but I hate disrespecting people.
I've become a more caring, empathetic and emotional in my adult life.
I have tremendous buyer's remorse and don't like spending money on myself.
I am a strong woman who will stand up for what I believe in.
I don't like making people feel bad or stupid.
I am meticulous about word choice.
I struggle with perfection, but am working on being perfectly flawed.
I need to stop measuring myself against others and set my own standards and goals.
I've been told I am a good listener and give good advice.
I'm ok with letting myself down, but won't tolerate letting others down.
I need to work on telling people how much I care about them. I used to tell the people closest to me that I loved them, but I have put up an emotional wall.


After the monumental loss of my mom, I lost a huge part of myself. I could no longer identify with the person I once was. My world, walls and life came crashing down. Throughout the last few months I have been on an incredible journey of self-discovery. Who am I without my mom? What is my role in this life? Life has started to show some answers to these questions.

I had the honor of standing up in support of my dear friend Kate at her wedding this last weekend. In anticipation of this event, I had tried to prepare myself for the potential uproar of emotions that would almost certainly arise. You see, this would be the first wedding I had attended since the loss of my mom and judging by the triggers that have caused me sadness in the past, seeing my best friend Kate interact with her mom in the context of a wedding would undoubtedly be one of those moments.

I am proud of myself for making it through the rehearsal, last minute crafty projects and even the ceremony but it was watching her family gather in front of everyone at the reception as her mom read a poem about watching her daughters grow up and marry wonderful men that did me in. I sat at one of the head tables for all to see, borderline sobbing...how embarrassing. I officially become the crazy, crying lady = awesome.

The next instance of uncontrollable emotion was on the dance floor. I was telling Kate how how much her friendship means to me and that I was sorry for crying earlier. Of course, that was enough to set the waterworks off again. I took off to the bathroom where it seemed the world was gathering and tried to explain myself to onlookers, but gave up. It was pointless...I knew where it came from and I knew I didn't have to justify the tears.

That moment was an epiphany in itself. To finally feel as though I didn't have to justify or validate my emotion was truly liberating. I am allowed to be the crazy, crying lady for a few minutes and I am proud of myself for pulling it back together and not letting it ruin my night. The me a few months ago would have not been so strong.

Yes, there is great power in knowing who you are/aren't and what you do/don't stand for. I am excited about continuing this journey of discovery and seeing what life changing conclusions unfold. I encourage you to make a list of life's little epiphanies. It will unquestionably make you a more aware, alert and insightful student of the universe.


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life is

Life takes people down mysterious, unforeseeable paths. You can plan, plan, plan until you're blue in the face, however it is rare for life to go accordingly. No one ever planned to invent the microwave or rubber tires, for instance. Greatness and success are often achieved through mistakes, not by some fictitious perfect plan. It is kind of like the saying, "you make plans, and God laughs."

According to the road map I set out for myself in high school, I am supposed to be a college graduate with a successful skin care line, married and a mother. There are a ton of factors, however, that I did not account for when making that naive, uninformed life plan. Based on my own expectations, I am one for four and a complete failure. All too often it is our own unreal expectations of ourselves that leave us feeling unsuccessful or inadequate when in reality, we are where we were meant to be. In our minds, the grass will be greener just on the other side of that hill and around the corner, but if we are constantly looking ahead, planning for better things to come our way, we will never take the time to enjoy what is, we will never achieve true happiness and who knows, tomorrow and that other hill may never come.

I challenge you to take time to enjoy the moment with me and stop dwelling on the past or constantly attempting to plan for the future.* We need to just be and accept and relish in what IS. What happens in the moment may surprise you.

*I am not suggesting that you forget your future, live wastefully, and never strive to do anything bigger. Of course goals and aspirations are important, but this concept extends way beyond that into the smaller, more significant facets of your life. I propose that, for example, when you are driving down the highway with your significant other through the beautiful countryside, listening to music and holding hands...soak up that moment and enjoy what IS don't sit there and ponder what you are going to do when you get to your destination. You can soak up that moment when you get there.

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failing harder

Within the walls of Wieden+Kennedy lurk some of the most brilliant, creative and, I would argue, tortured minds. For them, it is all about "the work" and as a byproduct of continually encouraging creatives and clients to push the proverbial envelope, their work never ceases to inspire. I genuinely miss being a part of the organized chaos.

As you walk through the suspended catwalks in the Portland office it is hard to miss the 150,000 push pin mural on the 4th floor that reminds passersby to "Fail Harder". The message reflects one of Dan Wieden's sayings, "You're only good to me after you've made three tremendous mistakes."


James and I aren't your average Joes (not that being average or named Joe is a bad thing, by any means). I sometimes crave routine and stability, but that quickly passes. We thrive when things are moving slightly off kilter. We embrace change, failure, success, ideas and creation. We understood that as wonderful as Portland was, our dreams could not be achieved there. So, we left and said hello to Race City, USA last year.


It has been an obviously rough year, life has had no kilter of which to speak, but this little piece of WK that we've recreated in our living room encourages me. It reminds me that we are here in Charlotte for a very specific purpose. We are here not to get comfortable, but to continually push the envelope. We are here to take the road less traveled, potentially failing tremendously along the way, but it is all in an effort to achieve greatness in the end.
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soul captain

As I've gone back through my recent posts I have noticed that they all revolve around one main topic: my mom. However, I have also found a few other themes peppered throughout previous entries: laughter, love and the pursuit of happiness. It is fitting that in the midst of expressing my sadness for the loss of my incredible mom that those themes are so closely tied to my memories of her...

Life seems to be moving forward at warp speed. In the past 4 weeks alone James, Portia and I moved into a new place, went to Portland to visit family, James had a race, our good friend Ryan Davis of Yaer Productions filmed the race weekend's events for a JK: Day in the Life promotional video, visited Savannah, GA to celebrate our belated anniversary and then threw it down at Cabo Fish Taco with some great friends for James' birthday. Needless to say, we have been going non-stop, constantly surrounded by love, laughter and happiness. But when I have had the rare moment to take a deep breath, I am consumed by thoughts of my mom and the trying events that occurred a year ago today. I prefer to keep moving too quickly to think of those things.

We took advantage of having a break from life last night and watched Invictus with Morgan Freeman and Matt Damon. (I would recommend it to anyone looking to be inspired and empowered. It's a little slow-moving, but I loved it.) I firmly believe that life opens unexpected doors at precisely the right moment. Precisely when we were meant to hear something, see something or experience something it will appear if you are open to it.

I had never heard the poem "Invictus" by William Ernest Henley before watching that movie last night, but it was precisely what I needed to hear at that exact moment. It so accurately depicts what I have been going through in the past year and a half: unchangeable, terrible circumstances, BUT it doesn't matter how difficult life's road may be in the end because I will see to it that my fate lies in a better place as I have the power to decide how I let this life's experiences shape my soul.


"OUT of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.


In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed.


Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years

Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.


It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul."

-William Ernest Henley

I am choosing not to let my life be ruled by terrible events that were out of my control. I am choosing my own fate. One where my soul takes a more mature and enlightened shape, and shines so brightly that it blinds evil. Take control of your fate and don't fall victim to your past's unchangeable circumstances. Charge ahead, full force, and be the captain of your soul! Embrace love, feel permission to laugh freely and constantly pursue happiness.

PS: Thank you everyone for your endless and continued strength and support. Love you all.
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ring ring



I was given a link to a mother's blog who recently lost her 17 month old daughter. (Hudson's One Good Thing) It's strange how a mother's loss of her daughter can so closely resemble a daughter's loss of her mother. My mom taught and encouraged the power of positive thinking and finding the good in all situations. I know she wants me to find at least "One Good Thing" amidst this sea of darkness. Although there are days when that is seemingly impossible, I know I am armed with beautiful memories of my mother and honoring those memories with a laugh, smile or tears is now all I can do.

Most people didn't have the pleasure of knowing the goofy side of my mom's personality. The attached video was her most recent obsession. She would imitate and put her own spin on it while leaving my sister or me a voicemail. I crave one of these ridiculous voicemails...she would do just about anything to make us laugh.

I selfishly miss being able to call her for advice on how to tell whether or not my basil is still edible or just to say hi as I wait in the car for James. It is in the
lack of these simple moments that my new reality is made resoundingly real, but it is also in these moments that I am reminded of my mom's brilliance and the incredible bond that we had.

Mom. "Ring, ring! I'm calling you but you not answer your phone..." I miss you more with each day that passes, but I promise to stay strong, be confident in who I am and love others as much as you loved me.
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sideways

"You know it ain't easy
For these thoughts here to leave me
There's no words to describe it
In French or in English
Well, diamonds they fade
And flowers they bloom
And I'm telling you
These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways
They've been knockin' me out lately
Whenever you come around me
These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways
I keep thinking in a moment that
Time will take them away
But these feelings won't go away"
-Citizen Cope, Sideways

This song just came on Pandora. I am overwhelmed with thoughts and memories of my mom. I have glimpses of healing and feel like I'm getting my feet back on the ground, but then I am consumed by gut-wrenching breathlessness when an explosion of reality confronts me...my mom is physically not here to comfort me. Rather, she is the cause of this physical and emotional torture. Trying to fight these tears is painfully impossible...only she can take this away.

Anguish is interrupted by Tiny Tim's disturbingly comforting "Tip Toe Through the Tulips" playing in my head. I smile...
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